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Lessons from Nonna

We tend to begin new projects with the best of intentions and then Life throws us a curve ball or two. I had wanted to post more but have been spending time with my 88 year old grandmother who has been in the hospital for the past six days with congestive heart failure. She is one of the strongest people I know. It is one of the greatest gifts in my daughter's life to have a relationship with her great-grandmother.

Nonna Rita was one of my earliest influences, especially when it came to what it meant to be a strong woman, a leader. She came to Canada in 1962, alone, with six young children in tow. She had no family here except her in-laws. We all know what that dynamic can be like... Her family remained in Italy. She didn't know the language and she was a stay-at-home mother, which didn't allow her to meet a lot of people. She ran a tight ship  - there were A LOT of mouths to feed and clothes to wash and lives to help manage. She took care of finances and maintained the home. She did it all alone. I love my grandfather but he is as much a product of his time as they come. He had his "place" and he constantly reminded my grandmother of hers. Despite her diminutive position in the house, she commanded respect by her sheer presence. She was tough, had clear expectations and demanded compliance. Sometimes that compliance came as a result of a flick of the wooden spoon or a even a shoe. Come on, we ALL have stories like this to tell in our families. While we may not use implements like spoons and shoes to prove a point, at the very least this is a lesson in consistency that I learned from her. No matter who the culprit, no matter the infraction, you could expect a consistent reaction from Nonna each and every time. There were no surprises.

Looking back on all the stories told by family, she was certainly a bit heavy-handed for today's standards and may not be a perfect model of leadership, but admire her. Maybe I'm just getting a bit sentimental and even a bit sad because I have to face that we are nearing this final phase of her life, but I hope that somewhere, deep down, I have an iota of the strength that she has - as a wife, a mother and leader.

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